can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize