i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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