i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You can't motorboat a personality
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
