Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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