Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
