Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
