Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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