Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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