Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Randomize
