last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
