I don't think brook has ever known best
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
