What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
