he wants to bone in the snuggie
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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