Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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