we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
