why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
