Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
If I die, sorry about rent.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
