So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
