I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
