I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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