He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
