We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
