when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You pole danced in your parka.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
