hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So gin and wine won't be happening again
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
