i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
