it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just found a bag of teeth...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
