she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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