like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Are my feet made of real feet?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
