You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
