either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
