I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I FOUND THE LEGS
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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