What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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