Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
