I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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