Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
