I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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