We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I am mentally ready for anal.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
