Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
