I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
