she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
i think my cat just said my name.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
