Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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