Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
