we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
