How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
