I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize