I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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