When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
