He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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