In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
