Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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