I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Do you still have your period?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
