im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
