She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
