be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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