I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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