just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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