i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
