she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
