we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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