i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
