i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
