love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
