apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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