Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
