You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
