man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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