so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
