So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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