I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
