is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
