did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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